happy. it is terminology long, long lost. in through and out. one can make eye contact only so often when it is lacking. iness. there may be beauty. topical application should come with an instruction manual. a list of caveats. a rule book of sorts. a solid smile. with repetition decays into a vapid grin. soul much less. much much less. meaning nothing and delivering nothing. a...
this. these things I miss. reading aloud alone to hear the fanciful voice of characters come to life. being the only living. breathing within four walls. absolute silence in the cityscape. waking not to wake up but to acknowledge and respect the day. then pocket it an waste it away because it was mine to do with. singing songs and sliding along the floor returning to a creative journey...
wheeze. breathe. it is all in the game. gag. choke. cough it all up. loudly. obnoxiously. for the world to hear. same as your arguments. as your knowledge. backed by incoherent ramblings and data. same as before. same as the last. not even relevant in the nineteens. now it is decades past into the twenties and you’re gone. alone. solitaire. in your eyes. someone saw...
temporal. this is this is this. time shifting around everyone. always moving forward except in the case of nostalgia. terrible story telling time as the children gather around. tomorrow is a day is today is yesterday.
postpone death. for a bit. for a chance at redemption. preemptive first strike. content over consumption. creation over contentment. lifestyles of the rich and the listless. tomorrow is the same unless it is made again. a force of change and to abstain. from the pursuit of happiness. from liberty. from life. objects only have the power you give them. same as hierarchies and respect. ...
death. rumbles around inside a lot. looking at eyes. torsos. appendages. it’s not morbidity. it’s living. acknowledging life. wondering when the table will be empty. eating alone. thinking about life. love. the day when tomorrow ceases to exist. chicken. egg. the thought process is currently sound. it accepts input. bounces around internally. communicates. processes....
william. lying in wait. always. to take credit. to quash the naysayers. i fear one day he’ll truly be the ultimate alpha. where the kindess. the niceness. will be washed away forever. the balance will be gone. perfection out weighing the personification. one ups manship at its worst. stepping on heads and devouring souls. spirit. hearts. once by a beach. twice in a building. ...
wilted quad. granular. ities.
something sad. not necessarily specifically sadness. but saddened. again and again. being let down by a shit world. hope is worthless because it’s trying. disappointment. not even internally but on all the external forces that show through.
with shaded glances over gradient eyes. tears still drip down and around the face.
wacktacular conversations. there is one lesson. one. and only one. nothing changes. ever. it’s the same. you feel the same. young. old. fat. small. boy. girl. the insecurities are real. the real shit is real. and when you don’t find kin, you suffer. you don’t teach the lessons. don’t bottle it up. let it out. you’ll alienate whom? you’ll...
the self. imposition of sleepiness. taxing situations. heavy. eyelids and hearts. easily in emotion and sway. nothing usual. higher brain function is a myth rather a legend of a myth. of a story. of a time. both random and calculated. so close to weeping for no rreason. for lack of. for asking of. compassion.
some days waking is a critique. of life. of times. of others. todos and task lists spring forth like a fount of reckoning. the subconcious worked overtime last night to bring all the data together. brought forth as a firestorm of critical inspiration to move on. and out. and up. inspiration comes in bouts. n rounds. here is wishing it away one day. normalcy. stupidity. just like ev
trust is a commodity. treated as such. it’s been a bank. and when you are rich with trust. you want to run. run away. start fires. burn. burn so many bridges. i think less of all of you. of you. and you. and you. billions taken. bridges burned. esteem taken with self. ness. less. and gone. deadbeats. not even poets. artists. musicians. just straight shit birds. ...
i’m. i’m. i am. slowly. ambivilant. love. love is for strangers. for lost souls. missed connections. crossing the street and solitude glances. life. life is different. it’s routine. it’s boring. it’s real. things are the same and are the same. you can’t shout life from the rafters. you can’t. you can talk about a great lost love. because...
lexicon. drafts of impossiblity. waves of immortality. egres. the need/want of egres. the fear. the overarching. neverending. unimeded. fear. of live. of living. mistakes were made. dishes were done. visible cacophony. failure it screamed. fail. her.
bastion. of hope. love. and somehow solitude. to be together is to be alone. a hypocratic oath. when like becomes love and stability. boring. tumultuousness is variety and robustness. life. life is the change in the wind. seasons. spice. dune was just an amiguous stoner trip of the cliche ‘variety is the spice of life’. the spice is life. what happens when you’re...
onus. of reality. on the shoulders of the few. what. happens. when atlas. shrugs? that’s one of those parties you eat before and after. fort. knox. imprengiable. except for the logic. the fallcies. the failures.
cardboard signs. veteran. father. morning commute out of the shelter onto the streets. stop lights on exit ramps. cadillac suv. beckons and calls. scurry over. money exchanged. small talk ensues. from the lips ‘where were you?’ green light. relationship ended. foot removed from brake. hang it up. for the kids.
summer time. pool side. life guard. smiling wide. spf. 15. 30. 45. fair. light. skins showing no signs of remorse. no life signs.
when the player of the game becomes. what? the game master? the light. the sorrow?
unsheathed. unscathed. it’s a very un feeling. all guns blazing. one thing going one way. eroding salad days. going. going. moon. exploding onto another plain. removing blinders and replacing with new modes of reality. lustfulness and anchorage angling for axiom of truth, justice and the american way. one single in a vastness.
the secret of superiority is a cliched acting tip. revolving around a hidden sharp. but when it is dark. the darkest night. thanking an orphan. an adoption. any everything in between. a ginger. symptom of a bigger problem. the worst invited in. protected from a game that would have never affected anyone otherwise. reverse vampire symptoms messing with a proper structure internally...
she killed herself last night. she was an unknown. she had kin. a husband. a family. friends. many friends. but last night it was too much. the economy. the layoffs. the tough love. of course he found her. who else would have? it was hard. it’s always hard. but if she was unknown, why the outpouring of love. ask for help. everyone will help. because everyone has the...
there is so much to take in. the insane duality of hypocrisy all gently rolling downstream. the insanity of linearity. is settling for happiness failure. if that is the end game. the human condition to want and feel content, is finally rooting down an abortion of hope? for the variety. the change. the spice? and the consequences. oh the consequences. so many others forgoing tomorrow...
fall and your friends fall with you. rise up and they will be your ladders.